The New School Year

     School starts next week, meet the teacher is tomorrow night, and I am here, a little fresh and renewed thinking about the upcoming year.  Yes, I still have some "summer" homework pages to help my sweet 3rd grader get caught up on... but I am looking forward to the "NEW" year.  I love school supplies, and new clothes, and these cute little Sperry Top Siders sitting on my desk.  I can imagine my rough little cowboy sliding on these preppy shoes because he wants to be like his brother.  I pray they have a good school year, and that I will focus on each moment, not just let this special time fly by.

    With my boys return to school comes a rejuvenation in my own heart.  I restarted Weight Watchers on June 1.  I was on fire with it for the first few weeks and had managed to lose about 8 lbs... but, I once again managed to let off and has a few weeks of gain, followed my a couple of skipped meetings.  Thankfully my pastor's wife texted me this weekend and is wanting to refresh our mindset and focus on eating healthy and losing weight, so we are becoming accountability partners with our Weight Watchers.  If our bodies are not healthy, we cannot do the things for "Christ" like he wants and needs.  This morning this thought "popped" in my head.  "You trust me with your heart, your soul, and your eternal forever, but not something simple like your food..." That's it, he's in charge of that now as well!


 "Lord, I already gave my heart to you, now I give my eating to you!"


Wow, that feels better.  I have another partner in this now.  If I falter, am letting my Father down also.  I will lean on him for this, like I do for my friends cancer treatments, and fears, and worries, and my money.  I better close for now so I can get started on all the "NEW."


    

The Heaviest I Have Ever Been!

I remember my Grandpa looking at old photos and saying, "Do I really look that old?"  I loved him immensely and never remembered him looking like anything else.  I had one of those moments this weekend.  Knowing, I was going to start weight watchers again today, I wanted a true to life, swimsuit wearing, no hold barred, fat shot.  Boy, did I get it.  I really got it.  Then I looked at my phone and thought "do I really look that fat."  The answer is yes.  Sure there may be days that I look better, because the clothes "draped" better...or the eyeliner took a few pounds off, but really sweetheart, I am that big.  So I have a wonderful before shot in a swimsuit, that will not be shown yet.  It will remain on my phone tomorrow, to remind me that this "is" my heaviest, and I want it to be the heaviest I ever "was". 


Today is that day.  Weight Watchers or bust.  In about an hour, I will know for real where I am.  Is it 225...or 222...depends on the moment and the number of clothes I have on.  But in an hour I will be sitting in the Weight Watchers room in a local church, and I will know.    I will know my starting point.  I will now my plan of attack.  Then, when I am 50, I can look at my photo and say...do I really look that thin!

We can't wait to go home!

     This morning my co-worker came in to our shared office and said, It's Friday, Thank Goodness its Friday.  All I can say is "my sentiments exactly".  I asked him, is there something wrong that we want to go home instead of being at work.  His reply was "no, at least we like to be at home."  He is right, it is good that we want to go home.
      I have worked for the person who wasn't eager to go home.  So he felt that we needed to stay with him all hours.  Instead of a 8-9.5 hour workday, he demanded a 10-11 hour workday.   My husband was not happy and was whispering (more like loudly talking) about how big a jerk my boss was, and how I needed to stand up to him.  Well lets just say I didn't, but thankfully, those days are over.
      I love my husband and my kids, and I love being at home.  I love cooking for them, I love working in the yard, feeding the horse, and well okay, I don't love laundry.  But since it is a necessary evil, I must do it. 
      So if I am looking at the clock correctly, I have about 9 hours until I can go home.   Guess I better get some work done so I will be ready to go home at 5:30.
  

"Hi-Yo, Silver! Away!"

       That's right, You recognize the old, familiar catch phrase of the Lone Ranger.  And so does my little, the rough and tough, big horse wanting little boy.    And Mom and Dad, we did good.  We bought them a "Big" Horse who has been around a while.  A "Big" horse named "Tom" who knows what to do, because he's been doing it for years.   I put my sweet boys on and Tom does what he knows to do, He takes my oldest on a slow trip, and responds to a gentle guide from him.  Tom restores my oldest son's confidence.  Its been gone since that rodeo about a year and a half ago when he was thrown off as he was riding around barrel one.   I see my son rigid at first, then relax more and more at each pass through the arena.   My youngest, with no fear at all, jumps on with no abandon, gives a big yee-haw and with a Hi-Yo, Silver, he is away.  He holds up his hand and tells me, Mom, I got this.  He may not, but that 26+ year old horse with a history does.


       Tom was originally a work horse.  I real live cowboy horse.  The gentleman that first had him tells stories how he would take Tom to work cattle.  Most cowboys would bring 3 horses and rotate them in as they got tired.  But not Tom's.  He brought Tom only.  And Tom didn't let him down.


       We know Tom's next owner well.  He is a dear cousin which my boys realize didn't hang the moon, but is real instrumental in keeping it there.  He bought Tom his junior year in high school.
As Jarod was learning to rope, Tom was one of the teachers.


       The next owner we knew of.  We would always ask about Tom when we saw him.  A young boy received Tom, and Tom taught him to Rope and Playday.   Tom and that boys playdayed all though Central Texas winning and riding. That young man is an 18 year old now that is interested in trucks and welding now.  Tom is a bit tired and skinny, and needs a new purpose. 


       We went and picked Tom up on Saturday.    His new purpose is to teach my sweet little boys to cowboy.  He knows the patterns better than I.  He can tell the weight and experience of his rider.  He knows those are my special boys on his back.   Tears are falling as I thank God for that sweet bay horse Tom.   I promise sir, to take care of you until your last breath with us.  I pray that you enjoy us as your last family. 

No tums last night.

      My stomach.  Well lets just say we have a strange relationship.  Between the medications for my auto-immune issues and the pressure of 70 extra lbs, my stomach likes to revolt.  It creates too much acid and flat out revolts.  This acid, finds me, whether I have just ate a full meal, or sipped a glass of water.  I've tried prescriptions, which to be honest, might work, if I would take them like I should.  I really hate paying for expensive medication and usually the hot, new, stomach pill is an expensive item.  So Tums or Chewable Pepcid it is until its real bad, then a quick shot of alkaseltzer usally does the trick.  I have a bottle of  liquid antacid at my desk at work, and Tums in my purse.  I have to be prepared no matter my location.
     Every time I lose weight, my reflux gets better.  Last night, I required no acid medication.  If this alone isn't reason for me to lose weight, I don't know what else wood be.   I am looking forward to that day, when I don't have to panic if I am not armed with my arsenal of antacids.  Looking forward to Saturday evening weigh in!

Weigh Down with my church

       I am here again, Back up to 212.8 lbs last night.  Why am I here again.  I thought I said bye to 212 this summer, and again last January, and again the summer before that.   To say that weight is something that always bothered me, well I can't say that.  There were those days when slim boys Jordache jeans were the norm.  I was skinny, straight as a board, from top to bottom.
       I started to get a little shape.   Then I went to college.  I began eating fast.  I had to get to work as soon as I got off.  I worked 45 minutes away, and I had to get there fast.  I began grabbing fast food and eating it on the way.  Probably a better word would be inhaling it.  The freshmen 15, was actually 30.  The 30 turned in to 50, which turned in to 70.  I really consider myself 70 lbs overweight.  But truthfully, I don't want to lose 70 lbs.  I want to lose 60.  I want to be 150-155.  I do not care about a "BO-Kini" as my boys call it.  I want to be able to play with my boys without physically hurting.  I want to be able to buy a pair of jeans and a shirt and put it on and feel good. 
       I can lose weight.  When I start obsessing, I can channel my inner control freak and lose weight.  But I am depriving myself.  I am setting myself up for binges.  I feel guilty for going over... I can do it.  But the moment I go back to not obsessing.  I see the scale rise again.  SO if I remain obsessive about every single calorie I put in my body, I can lose weight.  But if I waiver, even a few days.....
       My pastors wife put together a wellness class.  A whole spirit of wellness class.  She is using a couple of different resources, including the Weigh Down Diet.  So far I figure the basics are this,

• Eat when you are hungry, and when you feel full, simply stop.   If your not hungry, simply drink a glass of tea with the family. 
• Rank your food, decide what you want the most, and what you like the best.  Eat that first!
• Divide your portions. Wrap up the rest for later.
• Realize that God created our body and knows what it needs to survive, so always relinquish to him.  He will support you.  You can't do this alone.

      Five weeks.  This program is going to last five weeks.  It is free.  Well I bought the book off Amazon for 25 cents + 3.99 shipping.   But the expense I have put out on Weight Watchers, I think I can invest $4.24 in the next five weeks.  I don't want to be obsessive about losing weight, and that's really what happens when I count calories.   The best part of our group is the number of committed souls in our group.  We can support each other. 

      I'll keep you posted.  I really want to excel, what do I have to lose????